i haven't done this in a while but i think it's about time I get back in it. Writing has always been my therapy even though sometimes it gets the best of me. It's no different from anything else in my life. I over-analyze, over-think, over-worry which all derives from my always lingering sense of fear. My often occurring writer's block comes from the fear of not being good enough; the fear of being judged. Except this writer's block is not the one that people get at the start of an essay, no, this writer's block rears its ugly head whenever I'm about to step out of my comfort zone in life. I sit there like a deer in headlights and don't want to move. I don't want to deal. Sometimes this makes me question if I'm really able to handle life; handle all of its obstacles, tribulations, tumultious bumps. I really don't know if I can. I rather just live my life in the zone, with headphones on, allowing the music to block everything out. Some might say that that is no way to live because the good is blocked out with the bad, but at this point-I don't really give a fuck. Because all the good I've been feeling have been insipid teasers that give me false hope. They cause me to get excited, hopefull, happy and all for what? To be shut down to a place that's lower than the fiery inferno that's Hades. I don't know what life has in store for me but I sure do hope that I become stronger. And, maybe even some day I'll be able to tackle that writer's block head on, until then I'll continue to shut out the world and remain in the zone.
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